Dear Everyone,

STOP! This is real life, and it’s really happening. I promise.

You can’t pretend like there is something else that is guaranteed to happen. There might not be a tomorrow, there might not be “someday” and there most certainly might not be something after this life. That being said, live today. What i’m saying is: don’t keep on convincing yourself “someday” you’ll learn that instrument. “Someday” you two will be together. Tomorrow you’ll start that book you’ve always wanted to write. Do it. There isn’t enough certainty in life not to. When you’re sitting there thinking “this is ok for now” or “I’m really just not ready for -blank-” you have to realize that you are not working towards another goal, you are accepting the fact that you may never get what you want and will only have yourself to blame.

I’m as guilty as anyone else. I am a huge procrastinator and miss out on a lot. Yet at the same time I can say when it really matters I won’t have to wonder. When I really know that I want or need something in my life I will go for it with every fiber of my being. If I died today I could tell you I have lived a life chasing after exactly what I truly want. I have lived my life with passion. My biggest goals in life are to find lasting love, and to really make a difference. I’m currently in college studying to be a teacher and sociologist so I truly believe i’m on my way to making a difference. As for love, I can’t say I regret much. I had a long fulfilling relationship with a beautiful girl that, although was hard and ended on poor terms, taught me a lot about who I am. About my problems and weaknesses, and about my strengths. But most importantly, made me happy. After that I messed up on another chance for love, but can say conclusively I don’t regret it. I wasn’t ready, and did some stupid things, but once I knew how I felt, and knew I could return all the feelings I was receiving, I went for it. It was hopeless, and I still tried. For six months. It was one of the most painful and hard times in my life. Yet, I’ll never have to wonder what if. I’ll never have to say “what if I didn’t give it my all?” or “what if i had tried -blank-?” And that feeling is one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Regardless, what I want people to take from this is don’t settle. Or if you do decide to settle don’t fool yourself into thinking you have enough time to unsettle. Maybe it’s morbid to think that every day could be your last, or maybe it’s foolish to advise you to go out on a limb and truly reach for what you want. But maybe it’s the only sensible way to live. Settling won’t bring you the immense sorrow failure will, so you’ll protect yourself. Personally though, for all the failures my passion has brought me, I’ve experienced so much. Someday when i’m a father, or a teacher, or a sociologist, or all three, or none I’ll be able to look myself in the mirror and smile.

Do yourself a favor and start working towards one thing you’ve always been too afraid to do. If that means putting $20 bucks from the next paycheck in the bank to save up for your own place, so be it. If that means finally asking that girl out, or letting “the boy who got away” know you’re not ready to give up, do it.

Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes” -Oscar Wilde

Me and a friend got tattoos together a while back. Well always live as if were dying. Just a reminder to always go after what you want.

A friend and I got tattoos together a while back. "We'll always live as if we're dying." Just a reminder to always go after what you want.

Published in: on December 30, 2008 at 4:41 am  Comments (5)  
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My first ever DreamBlog Post.

Randomly found when I googled the word dream, not my own work.

Randomly found when I googled the word "dream", not my own work.

So this post won’t be like the others because frankly I just want to write down my dreams from last night. I hope this is the first of many such posts and will write them as long as I remember in the morning. Don’t feel obligated to read through this because like I said it’s just going to be my dreams (I’ll probably censor the sexual stuff and won’t always use people’s real names who appear in the dreams)


Published in: on December 23, 2008 at 12:44 pm  Comments (5)  
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I’m just curious, does anyone out there know what they’re doing?

No, I don’t mean tomorrow, or the next day, or in the next couple years. I mean, why? Why are you still in college? Why are you chasing that hopeless love? Why are you happy?

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing exactly what life and the people around me expect. And then when I don’t do that I still feel like I’m doing what is expected by doing what is unexpected. That doesn’t make any sense…

I guess I just wonder if everyone, at the end of the day, is chasing after the same thing. I mean in whatever way we’re doing it, we just want to be happy. I think the whole point of it all is doing everything you can until you find out exactly what happiness is.

For me, it’s love. Well at least I think it is. I feel like everything is predictable, and measurable, and explored, and analyzed, and solved, and whatever else. But love is different. It’s like that one thing that no one can really explain. It goes against our instincts, it goes against our culture (homosexuals, just one example), and it just doesn’t make sense. People aren’t trustworthy, they will hurt you. It never ever works out like you think it will, or maybe it always works out how you think it will. It makes life hard, it’s distracting, and it’s so scary.

Yet, myself and so many others are after that one person who will just make them feel understood. To make them feel not so alone. And suddenly it makes sense. We are all so alone, people come and go, and life changes, and we accept it all. But what if you could find someone who didn’t leave? What if you could find someone to experience life with you? What if you found someone who just got it?

I’m not saying only romantic love, because for some people that’s not what they need or want. Sometimes it’s a parent or parental figure that people are looking for. Sometimes it’s that best friend who, no matter time or distance, you never skip a beat with.

The term Hopeless Romantic has always angered me. It’s saying that passion for love is foolish in this kind of world, and that you’re just another hopeless case. Then I realized anyone who is considered a hopeless romantic is only hopeless to those looking in. From where they stand hope is the only driving force, because what else can you have in the face of so much resistance? Love has no tangible proof, it has no sure way to success, it has no handbooks. The only thing that can guide you to it is an unrelenting belief that it exists, and the hope that with all the risks of love the reward can only be one of the greatest things out there.

And in that I think Hopeless Romantics can find hope. It’s not hopeless, and the second you admit it is you’ll lose it.

Best of luck from a hopeful romantic,


P.S.-Sorry that was so scatterbrained and mushy, I promise I’ll provide entertainment in the next post.

Published in: on November 13, 2008 at 1:01 am  Comments (6)  
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