“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”

I’m really happy with:

-Myself (I feel like I am a generally good person, am O.K. with my body image, and feel as if I have really been trying to do my best in classes.)

-My plans (I start teaching at a school in need next week, and I’ll most likely volunteer extra hours because I want to. I’m going to California in a few months where i’ll begin to help plan a national conference for next year.)

-My friends (By this I must specify my friends, not those people who only act cordial in person.)

-My family (We have plenty of problems, but truly there is lots of love.)

Things I’m just done with:

-People who clearly only want me around when it’s convenient.

-Trying to look for love! It’s so hard to stop, and lately I feel like I’m the only single one out of anyone I know, but I want something to occur naturally. If you force a relationship it is destined to fail, if you have a great friendship with someone which blossoms into romance, it will be great.

-Being down on myself. I have made lots of mistakes, most especially in the recent past, but I truly beat myself up over them way too much. I need to just realize that good people can make mistakes too, and what makes them good people is that they learn from their mistakes.

-The past. My future is too bright to be boggled down by it.

Advertisements
Published in: on February 11, 2009 at 12:42 am  Comments (4)  
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Dear Everyone,

STOP! This is real life, and it’s really happening. I promise.

You can’t pretend like there is something else that is guaranteed to happen. There might not be a tomorrow, there might not be “someday” and there most certainly might not be something after this life. That being said, live today. What i’m saying is: don’t keep on convincing yourself “someday” you’ll learn that instrument. “Someday” you two will be together. Tomorrow you’ll start that book you’ve always wanted to write. Do it. There isn’t enough certainty in life not to. When you’re sitting there thinking “this is ok for now” or “I’m really just not ready for -blank-” you have to realize that you are not working towards another goal, you are accepting the fact that you may never get what you want and will only have yourself to blame.

I’m as guilty as anyone else. I am a huge procrastinator and miss out on a lot. Yet at the same time I can say when it really matters I won’t have to wonder. When I really know that I want or need something in my life I will go for it with every fiber of my being. If I died today I could tell you I have lived a life chasing after exactly what I truly want. I have lived my life with passion. My biggest goals in life are to find lasting love, and to really make a difference. I’m currently in college studying to be a teacher and sociologist so I truly believe i’m on my way to making a difference. As for love, I can’t say I regret much. I had a long fulfilling relationship with a beautiful girl that, although was hard and ended on poor terms, taught me a lot about who I am. About my problems and weaknesses, and about my strengths. But most importantly, made me happy. After that I messed up on another chance for love, but can say conclusively I don’t regret it. I wasn’t ready, and did some stupid things, but once I knew how I felt, and knew I could return all the feelings I was receiving, I went for it. It was hopeless, and I still tried. For six months. It was one of the most painful and hard times in my life. Yet, I’ll never have to wonder what if. I’ll never have to say “what if I didn’t give it my all?” or “what if i had tried -blank-?” And that feeling is one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Regardless, what I want people to take from this is don’t settle. Or if you do decide to settle don’t fool yourself into thinking you have enough time to unsettle. Maybe it’s morbid to think that every day could be your last, or maybe it’s foolish to advise you to go out on a limb and truly reach for what you want. But maybe it’s the only sensible way to live. Settling won’t bring you the immense sorrow failure will, so you’ll protect yourself. Personally though, for all the failures my passion has brought me, I’ve experienced so much. Someday when i’m a father, or a teacher, or a sociologist, or all three, or none I’ll be able to look myself in the mirror and smile.

Do yourself a favor and start working towards one thing you’ve always been too afraid to do. If that means putting $20 bucks from the next paycheck in the bank to save up for your own place, so be it. If that means finally asking that girl out, or letting “the boy who got away” know you’re not ready to give up, do it.

Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes” -Oscar Wilde

Me and a friend got tattoos together a while back. Well always live as if were dying. Just a reminder to always go after what you want.

A friend and I got tattoos together a while back. "We'll always live as if we're dying." Just a reminder to always go after what you want.

Published in: on December 30, 2008 at 4:41 am  Comments (5)  
Tags: , , , , , , , ,